Many of the women I work with come to me feeling overwhelmed, anxious or disconnected from themselves.

From the outside, life looks good; they have successful careers, supportive families and plenty to be grateful for. But underneath, there's often a feeling that something isn't quite right. Perhaps they're navigating divorce, an empty nest, a career that no longer fulfils them, or simply feeling disconnected from who they are and what they truly want.

That's why so much of my work starts with awareness. Before we can create meaningful change, we need to understand ourselves more deeply and recognise the patterns that keep showing up in our lives.

Self-awareness invites us to pause and become curious.

• What situations trigger me most?
• Why do I keep ending up in the same situations?
• Where am I giving my energy away?
• Am I living the life I want, or the life others expect of me?

One of my favourite ways to explore these questions is through the Empty Chair Method, a simple but powerful form of chairwork that helps us see situations from a different perspective.

What is the Empty Chair Method?

 The Empty Chair Method, sometimes called the Empty Chair Technique, is a form of chairwork commonly used in mindset coaching and personal development. Over time, chairwork has evolved into a range of exercises designed to help people explore situations from different perspectives and develop greater self-awareness.

Traditionally, it involves speaking to an empty chair as though another person is sitting in it. This can help us express thoughts, feelings and emotions that may have been left unsaid.

The Empty Chair Technique uses three different positions to help you see a situation more clearly. Each chair represents a different perspective:

Chair 1: Your Perspective

Start by sitting in the first chair and describing the situation from your own point of view.

Ask yourself:

• What am I feeling?
• What am I thinking?
• What assumptions am I making?
• What do I believe is happening?
• 
  

This is your opportunity to be completely honest about your experience.

Chair 2: The Other Person's Perspective

Next, move to the second chair and imagine yourself as the other person involved. Consider:

• How might they see this situation?
• What might they be feeling?
• What pressures or fears could they be carrying?
• What might they not understand about my experience?

The purpose isn't to decide who's right or wrong. It's simply to expand your perspective.

Chair 3: The Observer

Finally, move into the third chair.

From here, imagine you're a neutral observer watching the situation unfold. Ask yourself:

• What patterns do I notice?
• What is really happening here?
• What might both people be missing?
• What advice would I give if I were observing this from the outside?

This perspective often reveals insights that aren't visible when we're emotionally involved in a situation.

How I Use Chairwork in Mindset Coaching

My mindset coaching sessions are built around three stages of change:

• Awareness: Understanding yourself more deeply and recognising the patterns that keep showing up in your life.
• Acceptance: Letting go of what you can't control and seeing challenges from a different perspective.
• Allowing: Trusting yourself, releasing unnecessary resistance and creating space for life to flow more naturally.

Chairwork supports that first stage of awareness. By looking at a situation from different perspectives, clients begin to recognise patterns, reconnect with themselves and make decisions that feel more aligned with who they are.